I think an American woman has her eye on my man

And what scary eyes they are.  This is Audrey, the Other Women and the only female in Hank's parental home in Princeton NJ, where she presides over two, larger tomcats.

Audrey is clearly a bit of a man eater.  Formerly "not really a lap cat", the minute Hank got to his parents' home, Audrey jumped straight into his lap and didn't move all Christmas.  At one point I tried to get Hank to stand up and Audrey calmly stretched out her claws, digging them gently into his sweater, without dropping eye contact with me.

I was frightened.

Actually, I am still having flashbacks.  Should I just give my Hank up to Audrey?  Just give in?  She has some kind of hold over him.... I didn't take this picture; Hank did.  He took this one and about FIFTEEN others, all in secret, and stashed them on his phone!  And no photos of his fiancee.

What has she got that I haven't got?

Ok, so she purrs nicely....  I can work on my purr!

And I will develop evil eyes.  The next time we visit Princeton the claws will be out, Audrey!