Saturday, 23 April 2011

What does a bored housewife do when her husband is away?

Hank recently attended a three-day conference in Tampa and I was left home alone.  What did I do with myself?  Ah.... I wish it was something sordid but instead I may have developed a nasty habit of spending money faster than Hank earns it.  No, I take that back, I definitely have.  After a trip to Costco, I came out reeling from the shock of a $364 bill for toilet roll ....  Well, you know how addictive Costco is.  The end result of this financial carelessness on a single income can only be heartache, though, so I have either to change my middle class spending habits, or earn some money myself.

So I'm thinking about ways to earn money.  But there is, in the meantime, just so much quirky stuff to buy online here in the USA - and I should take advantage of that, no?  How about a Williams Sonoma knife sharpener which will sharpen your German knives at a 20 degree angle and your Asian knives at a 15 degree angle.  Presumably that difference is because we Asians are shorter.  Perhaps my diminutive stature is to blame for my knives being so blunt they are capable of cutting nothing but my fingers when their dull, stubby tips slip around on wet potatoes.  It strikes me that such a bourgeois knife sharpener belongs on the infamous website which lists, well... stuff white people like.  At first that website' made no sense to me until I realised that the writer is offering what we in the UK would call "class-based" commentary.  Substitute the words "white people" for "middle class people" and it starts to make sense in my lingo, although that does not really explain why in the USA, only white peeps would be interested in this stuff.  Anyway, let's go beyond that and I can count plenty of middle classisms on the list (link below).  May I do a little transliteration for our British readers:

Pea Coat = Double breasted, reefer jacket
Girls with bangs = girls with a fringe
Asian = East Asian (ie not Indian subcontinental)

Now off you go, white and/or middle class readers, and have fun.  Don't forget to feign middle class disinterest in the Royal Wedding next week.  Royalty should earn a living and are a blight on the face of democracy etc etc :)

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